![]() ![]() “Please call me for anything, no matter the time,” I stressed while letting the box fall to the floor at my feet. I’ll take good care of your mother while you’re gone. “She’s resting in her room right now.” Lana’s voice brought me back to our conversation. To say I was stressing about how to pay Lana was an understatement. My pay for being a merch girl barely covered it and I didn’t get paid until the tour ended. It may have not seemed like a lot but for someone who struggles to pay their bills already, it was a lot. Which is why in one week, I needed to send her first paycheck. She was used to patients like this it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. She was a few years younger than my mom and worked with Alzheimer’s patients for longer than I’d been alive. The nurse, Lana, never cringed or ran out like I thought she would. Of course, when I hired the nurse, I was one hundred percent upfront with her about all the bad. It took a soft voice and calmness but I coaxed her back into bed, the fear of my life eating away at my insides. ![]() She didn’t recognize me and threatened to beat me with the bat if I didn’t get out of her house. Then the night before I left for tour, I woke up to my mom looming over me in my bed with a bat clutched tightly in her hands. I think she must have been in a catatonic state and woke herself out of it with her screams. It was cold and her blue lips were trembling, guilt ate away at me because I didn’t know how long she was out there. That night, I woke up in the middle of the night from screaming coming from the front yard and that’s where I found my mom only wearing her underwear standing in the middle of the yard. It would only be for one month then once the tour was over, I would quit and find a job that let me be home with her. Three days ago, after I came home to the lingering smell of gas in the house, I decided that no matter how much it cost I would hire a live-in nurse to stay with my mom while I was on the road. “Yeah it was like that the other night,” I sighed. “This morning was rough, but we managed.” I clutched my phone between my shoulder and ear as I carried the box of merch to the table that was set up inside the venue.
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